An Inciting Incident

For anyone who has read Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years," you already understand the concept of the title for this entry. (if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.) In this book Mr. Miller speaks about the concept of your life being a story and how you can edit it into a better narrative. An inciting incident is an event in the main characters life that forces a change, it is something that has to be done in order to solve a problem or make a drastic change for the better.

It has been months I have been saying my life needs an inciting incident, rather it be in my professional or personal life. As I have mulled this thought over and over again in my mind, I had wondered, do I seek this out or what for it to come to me? After many months of seeking out this incident, I began to sit back. As I sat back I started feeling like I was right where God wanted me, that I should sit and wait. After all, good things come to those who wait, right?

Now my question is, what do you do when multiple, potential inciting incidents produce themselves to you within a short amount of time? It is at this point things get blurry, no longer black and white, gray if you will. One potential incident is completely unrelated, so no big deal.

But then there are two that in someway correlate. Potential Incident #1 needs a reaction of some sort. Potential Incident #2, I have no control over and have to patiently await an outcome. The long term reaction of potential incident #1 can have an effect if anything came out of #2. So What do you do? Sit like a dunce in the corner and wait for life to happen, no reaction to #1 at all? React to #1 in a dismissive manner so it has no affect on potential #2? Or react to #1 with your initial thoughts?

This is where I wonder if God and his will for us can be seriously that black and white. After all there are a portion of us God-fearing Christians that believe God's will is pre-destined and another portion that believes we as humans have free-will. In some ways I wish I had strong conviction on this idea-logy one way or another, if so this whole potential incidents #1 and #2 would be no debate whatsoever. But alas, I do not have conviction on either.

I do believe God has a will for us and his will be done. After much debating, I thought, "how would I feel when I am 80 if I did not react to potential incident #1 with my initial thoughts?" Truth is, I'd regret it. So here I am following my gut (for NCIS fans, my Gibbs' gut). Maybe later I will have information to post on this potential inciting incident in my life. Either way, like everything else, I am sure this will prove to be a learning experience. Here it goes......the old cliche, I am going to follow my heart. Potentially to be continued....

So I Met Someone This Weekend

I met a very important man indeed this weekend. I headed down to KC to see my brother and his family. I love making this drive because it gives me 8 hours alone in the car to think and I can stop along the way to visit some of my college girlfriends and catch up on their lives.

This particular visit was special once I got into KC as I got to meet a little man named Sawyer Ray. My nephew and only 10 days old at that.

Additionally it was my niece Emma's fourth birthday. We celebrated all day upon my arrival and the next day she had a cupcake party with 6 of her friends. I wasn't sure how I'd deal with a 4 year old's party but found myself loving every minute.

All in all a very special weekend indeed. It breaks my heart when I drive away to think that I cannot be in my niece & nephew's lives on a more regular basis.

It amazes me, this is the second baby in my life and in my family that I have gotten to follow along with the pregnancy and birth of these wonderful children. I have been the baby of my family up until Emma. I never realized how much love you can become consumed with for this little tiny human you have never met but you feel this attachment because it's your family. In fact it is overwhelming. And I am only the Aunt!! I can't imagine how it feels to be the mother who has nurtured this baby in your womb for 9 months and then to meet this tiny little person. It is an abundant blessing that I cannot wait to experience some day.

The Deliberation

So after much deliberation (both internally and with others) I have decided to begin this blog. I am not doing this because I think my viewpoint on life is superior or that my life is uber interesting (it's actually quite plain). I am doing this for me. I have been thinking about starting some sort of journal for the past 6 months to harness the many ideas and thoughts floating through my head. It was between keeping it private and sharing it out in the open. Some things, rightfully so, will remain private, but as for these thoughts/ideas, I am open to sharing.

The name of the blog "Caught Somewhere In Between" is how I summarize my current stage in life. I am caught in between in my job, my relationships, my living situation, my morals, my beliefs, my tastes, my opinions, pretty much everything. I don't know if it's just the point in my life or who I am becoming. I am quite contrary as many of my friends and family will tell anyone but I do try to see all sides of the situation and maybe that is what has put me in the point of being caught somewhere in between in life.

If you happen to stumble upon this blog, feel free to add a viewpoint I haven't thought of. Or maybe just laugh at the way my mind works, I know I do! This is my starting point, maybe this can cultivate my thoughts, coax out a writer that may be in me or just bring back the artistic side of my brain. And as I sign off, I am now "caught somewhere in between" in this blog.